Unofficial rules All Saints
by daniandan-TehWolfyBlake
Summary: The Unofficial Rules of All Saints Hospital. It is M... Just to be on the safe side


My unofficial rules of All Saints

1a. Don't ask Jo about Silos. Just don't

1b. Also, don't ask Mike about his Kidney

2. Do not mess with the ED's coffee

3. Do not call any of the doctors, especially Frank, up-tight, snippy, grumpy, and old coot, gramps, or anything other than Doc, Doctor, Dr. Campion, or Frank.

4. Frank is not the most important person in the universe. His ego is big enough already, don't give him any new ideas.

5. Frank is not "The Man", so don't "stick it to him" (even if you want to).

6. The XRAY machine is not a toy. It is an important piece of equipment that should not be abused.

7. If you break it, report the problem to the head of ED right away. Do not try and fix the problem yourself.

8a. The Air conditioner vents are not to be used for mega games of hide and seek.

8b. Or manhunt

8c. Or kick-the-can

8d. Or paintball

8e. And why would there be paintball guns in a hospital anyway.

9. It is impossible to keep something secret for more than a week or two. Most likely, someone will find out in less time.

10. Do not flirt with Doctors/Nurses in front of Frank

11. Do not put super glue on Frank's chair.

12. No whoopee cushions. Especially in the head office.

13. The console room is not to be used as a "sobering zone" If you have a hangover, stay at home and take some panadol.

14. If you don't know what it is or what it does, DON'T TOUCH IT!

15. Chair jousting in the halls is not allowed.

16. Putting one makeup is not a suitable excuse as to why you are late for work.

17. Stop trying to grow pot in the lab and pass it off as a medicinal plant.

18. Don't use lab equipment to cook your own food.

19. Do not use the Science Labs to play "mad scientist"

20a. Unless you are in the Science Department or have permission or an actual reason to be in the Labs, you should not be in them

20b. Same with the ED

20c. And the MRU HQ.

20d. Stay in your own department/area unless you have an actual reason to go to/be in another department.

21. Food fights in the ED are banned. If you start one….. You don't want to know.

22. "Speak Like a Pirate Day" is not a real holiday.

23. If you hate the sight of Blood, being around other people, and get a queasy stomach of illnesses, you should not working in the ED.

24a. Jose Martinez is a fag

24b. No he is not

24c. George Weston is a fag

24d. No he is not

24e. Would you two stop it and make up already?

24g. Fine. Sorry Jose

24h. It's ok George, I'm sorry too.

25a. This list is not to be used as a message board. Please stop

(Rules 25b-25ag deleted)

26. Frank does not have the magical ability to talk people to death. He has no magical abilities what so ever (No matter what Mike or anyone else might think)

27. Do not use Facebook while on duty.

28. Don't shop for stuff on EBay while on duty either.

29. Don't post flyers through the ED when it is someone's birthday

30. There is no such thing as "Casual Fridays" in the ED, or any ED for that matter.

31. Do not tell Frank to "Chill"

32. Slipping any coloured hair dye into the ED showers or the shampoo is not allowed.

33. Converse high-tops are not proper uniform attire.

34. Falling asleep while on duty is bad.

35. Setting up obstacle courses in the hallways is no long permitted.

36. Just because you don't like the colour in the ED rooms, does not entitle you to repaint the walls a different colour

37. Just because you overslept does not entitle you to wear pyjamas to your shift, even if you are half-dressed in your uniform.

38. Frank and Mike are not an "item"

39. Steve and Jo are not an "item"

40. No streaking in the hallways. Please.

41a. Do not self-diagnose. You may be a doctor, but self-diagnosis is against regulations.

41b. Don't self-prescribe drugs either.

42. When someone is running because they are late for something, do not yell after them "Run, Forest! Run!".

42. Do not switch the medicine around into different containers.

43. Do not go to your shift drunk or hung over.

44a. Don't play "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" when Mike walks into a room. He is not a Grinch

44b. Same with Frank. Granted he's often in a bad mood, but doing that will make it worse.

45a. Mistletoe is not allowed in Head Office

45b. Or Frank's office

45c. Or major corridors. The Console rooms are open to mistletoe, however. Just don't go crazy.

46. Food and drink is not allowed at desks (except coffee).

47. Do not set up super slip-and slides in the hallways, or in the MRU Hanger Bay.

48. Do not adjust the climate control systems in public places to mimic the current climate of your hometown.

49. You cannot hire someone to do your shift for you.

50. Do not put chewed gum under desks. Please.

51. Do not spike the eggnog at the ED's Christmas party.

52. Christmas sweaters are not allowed when working. Not to mention that some of them have bells and things that can get caught on things.

53. Do not string lights along the hallways.

54a. When you are told to do something by someone, "that's what she said" is not the way to respond. Especially if the person is a guy.

54b. "You want be to do _what?_" and "why?" are not acceptable answers either.

54c. Nor is "do it yourself".

55. Do not greet Frank with "Eh, what's up Doc?"

56. There is not a 'Crazy Hat Day'; thus you are not allowed to celebrate it.

57. No more "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" song sessions over the uhf system. We don't care how bored you are.

58. Do not greet the nurses by saying "Heloooooo-o nurse!"

59. When it comes to Department Wars, no one is neutral.

60. The Console rooms are not to be used as impromptu music rooms (ask permission first….. With Frank probably saying no anyway)

61. Do not pin a sign on Frank's back saying "Frank is a jerk"

62. Do not call any of the Doctors 'Dr. House'

63. During monthly staff meetings, do not say "" when you have nothing to say.

64. Diet Coke and Mentos fountains are only allowed outside the MRU Hanger, no where else. Clean up when you are finished.

65. Do not pump helium gas into a room when Frank has a meeting with Head Office.

66. When someone says "This is (whatever", do not respond "No, this is Sparta!"

67. When asked to explain something by a higher up, do not start with "elementary, my dear Watson"

68. Laundry chutes are not slides. Stop using them as such.

69. Instant messaging people while on duty is bad.

70a. No pranks or funny business when Head Office is in the ED.

70b. Yeah right…..

71. All Saints hospital is not a democracy. If you are told to do something by someone higher up, you do it!.

72. Procrastinating on Reports and assignments is a bad idea.

73. Stop sleeping on the couch in the Console room; it's not a place to crash on your breaks.

74. Do not play "ding-dong-ditch"

75. When someone is asking you about who started a fight or something like that, do not start a round of "I am Sparticus". They will not find it funny.

76. Do not call Dr. Campion "Plum"

77. Neither Frank nor Mike, will treat extreme cases of Stupidity or Idiocy.

78. No "street performances" in the corridors.

79. Do not carve "(insert name) was here" under desks.

80. "Danger" is not Jo's name, no matter how much Steve and Mike say it is.

81. No more water balloon fights

82. Using Lab materials to make smoke bombs is prohibited, so please stop.

83. Drinking excessively large amounts of coffee is never a good idea for multiple reasons.


End file.
